White House to Install Nuclear Power Plant Rooftop

Washington, D.C. --

Like President Jimmy Carter, who used the of the office of the presidency as a bully pulpit to demonstrate to the nation his comment to America becoming energy self-sufficient in the 1970s by installing solar panels on the roof of his then residence, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, President Barack Obama has announced he is installing a nuclear power plant up on the White House rooftop to prove how safe nuclear energy is to Americans.

“President Obama realizes that it would be easier to just reinstall the old solar panels that President Ronald Reagan had removed after President Jimmy Carter lost the 1980 election,” said a spokesman for the White House. “However, Obama feels that he has an obligation as the first family to show the nation that nuclear power is just as green as solar power. In fact, it’s greener.”

“I’m not so sure about moving my garden up on the roof,” said the First Lady as she lay in bed next to the president reviewing the blue prints for the nuclear power plant and her new greenhouse garden. “Especially next to a --”

“Now, now Michelle,” interrupted Obama, putting down a book he was reading. “How many times do I have to tell you? Nuclear power is completely safe. Besides, now on cloudy days your plants will get all the radiation they need. Only, not from sunbeams that have to be imported from halfway across the solar system but from the splitting of atoms, domestically generated just feet above our heads. I know what I’m doing. I’ve done my research. Okay?”

“Okay,” said the First Lady as she rolled up the blue prints, laying them aside. Ignoring the biohazard warning on them. “You do have a way with words.”

“That’s why I’m the President,” said Obama with a smile as he picked up his book ‘How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying’, tuning to the page where he left off reading. “Now, please. Let me get back to my research so I can be ready for tomorrow’s economic summit.”


Copyright © 2008-2010 by Robert W. Armijo

Chris Matthews Watched as Obama Turned into ‘The Invisible Man’...Not the ‘Invisible Man’

Washington, D.C. --

“Pretty soon Obama lost all his pigmentation,” confessed TV political pundit Chris Matthews as he described watching Barack Obama, the nation’s first Black President deliver his first State of the Union address. “I didn’t even see a Black man anymore…I saw an invisible man.”

Actually, Chris Matthews claims all he saw was just a suit floating in the air, where Obama was standing on TV a moment ago.

“I wish Republicans could have seen Obama as I did. All invisible like that,” continued Chris Matthews. “Then maybe they would get along with him a little bit better.”

“We assure all Americans of every color,” replied a spokesman for the GOP, commenting on Chris Mathews’ colorblind remarks. “We don’t see a Black man when we look at President Obama. In fact, like Chris Matthews, we don’t see President Obama at all. To us he’s not merely invisible like in that book ‘The Invisible Man’ by H.G. Wells, but it’s as if he doesn’t exist. You know, like in that book ‘Invisible Man’ by Ralph Ellison.”


Copyright © 2008-2010 by Robert W. Armijo

Salahi White House Crashers Turn Down Invitation To Meet Congress

Washington, D.C. --

After posing for international cameras at President Barack Obama's first White House State Dinner and then appearing on the nationally syndicated, the 'Today' show, the world's most famous party crashers, the Salahis, now refuse to appear before Congress, turning down engraved invitations to discuss how they bypassed several security checkpoints manned by the Secret Service.

With their attorney present, the Salahis called for a press conference in the White House Rose Garden to explain their reasons for refusing to appear before Congress.

"Where's the challenge?' said Mr. Salahi as he held up the Congressional invitation to the hearing on White House security up in the air, waving it above his head for all to see.

"Yeah," chimed Mrs. Salahi into the microphone. "If they really wanted us to appear, they should invited us and then immediately uninvited us."

Suddenly the Secret Service appeared, interpreting the Salahi press conference by asking them for proof of authorization to use the Rose Garden from the White House groundskeeper.

As the Salahis' attorney reached out his arm across the table placing his hand over the microphone, he whispers into the Salahis' ears.

Almost immediately, Mr Salahi stands and begins to putdown his pockets, while Mrs. Salahi begins searching her purse, dumping its entire contents on to the conference table.

"I just had it in my pocket a minute ago," says Mr. Salahi. "Did you get it, honey?"

"I thought you had it, dear?" replied Mrs. Salahi. "Wait! I get this email saying we could use the Rose Garden. Will that do?"

As the Secret Service agents confer over the authenticity of the email, the Salahis quietly get up from the press table and sneak into the White House.


Copyright © 2008-9 by Robert W. Armijo

Items Missing from The White House, says First Lady, Michelle Obama

Washington, D.C. --

Along with mini bars of soap, facial towels and silverware embossed with the Presidential Seal gone missing from the White House, Michelle Obama reported to the Secret Service today that she discovered the mattress from the Lincoln Bedroom is missing as well.

“Secret Services searched every part of the White House looking for the missing mattress from the Lincoln bedroom,” said a White House official. “But so far it has yet to be recovered. Needless to say, you can only imaging the, um, historical significance it represents to the First Lady.”

The White House went on to say that they did not want to point fingers, but the last ones seen in the vicinity of the Lincoln bedroom were the Salahis, though at a loss of words as to how they smuggled out the twin-size mattress without the hundreds of guests and security noticing.

“One of them must have strapped it to their back,” said the White House.

However, since so many lobbyists were in attendance at Obama’s first state dinner, the Salahis must have been mistaken as one of them and allowed to slip out without question.

In the meanwhile, President Obama has formed a special task force to search and find the missing Lincoln mattress. Until then, however, it is rumored that the First Lady has ordered him to sleep down stairs on the couch until it is safely returned.

“Listen,” reportedly said the president to the special task force over the phone. “Michelle and I need that mattress back. I can’t tell you the reason why. But let’s just say, the fate of the free world maybe riding on it.”

Copyright © 2008-9 by Robert W. Armijo